A Mystery Mayhem
by mispatch
Summary: Darcy rarely lets people over to her apartment, and for good reason. Loki shares his input (with magic of course).


Darcy let out a yelp as her feet touched the solid ground. Loki had teleported them straight from her favourite restaurant to right outside the door of her apartment. She breathed in and out while slowly releasing her iron-tight grip around Loki's neck. She smoothed out the skirt of her dark green dress, buying time to catch her breath.

Darcy closed her eyes for a moment.

"Mmm, perhaps teleportation is not the best mode of transportation after dinner," Darcy said unsteadily.

Loki chuckled behind her as she dramatically placed a hand on the wall beside her.

"My apologies, Love. I'm sure Thor will be more than willing to chauffeur us with Mjölnir," he added teasingly.

Darcy turned to face him with a serious expression.

"Don't you even joke about that, Loki. That was the most _terrifying_ moment of my life," Darcy chided as she recalled her experience flying over the continental USA. Loki laughed even harder.

"Really? I thought it was quite charming, the way you screamed my name over and over into Thor's ear. I _definitely_ enjoyed the sound of that," Loki murmured suggestively to her.

Darcy hands fumbled in her purse for her keys. "You know what? At first I thought that Mew-Mew was super cool and all, but it turns out that in terms of flying, I'm not all that into him." Darcy pulled her key ring out of her oversized purse.

Loki wrapped his long arms around her waist as Darcy moved to the front door. "Well then it's a good thing you have me."

He kissed her once on her cheek, and then on her neck. Darcy turned around and pressed her lips against his.

She pulled back and whispered, "Oh, yes. It is." Darcy reached behind her and opened the apartment door. The second it opened, she rushed past the threshold, dropping her purse and keys on the ground.

"Make yourself at home!" Darcy called out as she walked swiftly past her bedroom door. She lightly pushed her bedroom door closed.

Loki took a step past the front door.

Oh. My. God.

Was there a terrible monsoon in New York that Loki had somehow missed? The was stuff...everywhere. _Everywhere_. Loki took another cautious step closer and took in the disaster. On the kitchen island there were pots and pans, still simmering with mystery solids and liquids. White Chinese takeout containers overflowed the silver bin that had once been called a 'garbage can' and single chopsticks lay scattered from their wooden partners.

"I hope it's not too messy! I cleaned up a little bit before we went out tonight," Darcy called out from the bedroom.

Loki didn't know how to respond. "How..."

He looked over at the living room and he swore he heard his mother's voice inside his head scolding him to pick up his toys.

The first thing that caught his eye was a huge mound of clothing. It was piled up on top of the couch, ranging from jackets and jeans to tank tops and t-shirts...but not limited to seemingly clean bras and panties.

Loki walked into the living room, shuffling his feet as he pushed aside empty bottles and bags on the ground. The coffee table held an open Monopoly set, but the chips and pieces were scattered all around the room. The little silver doggy piece lay on its side, begging for fresh air.

Loki turned 365 degrees and came to one, and only one conclusion.

_Darcy Lewis was MESSY_.

He couldn't believe it. Loki had never visited Darcy's apartment before, but when she had stayed over at Loki's, she had been positively _tidy_. Why did...how could..._What happened?_

Darcy emerged from the bedroom in a pair of jeans and a camisole. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Loki's shocked expression.

"That bad, huh?" Darcy asked as she walked over to Loki. She tied her hair up into a loose bun and surveyed her apartment.

"I just...I don't understand. How could this happen? How can this _be," _Loki asked in disbelief.

"Well..." Darcy started hesitantly. "...I get really busy because I'm always at work, and then I'm always staying at your place so...I just never really clean..."

Loki held up a hand and stopped her in the midst of her speech. He closed his eyes and kept his hands held high.

Suddenly, the loose debris from the ground started to disappear and the clothing on Darcy's couch started to float. The pans in the kitchen wiped themselves clean and the contents in the garbage vanished in thin air.

The clothes flew into the bedroom, knocking and clacking on the clothes hangers and the Monopoly board game (along with others, previously unseen to the eye) folded itself neatly into its original box. The apartment was filled with zooming objects, flying haphazardly around the air, placing them all into order.

Darcy ran forward to Loki and hugged onto him, ducking from the dangers of flying bottles and cans. The street sign that Darcy had stolen from one very drunk night out flew into the closet with a 'bang!'

Darcy thought it was all very surreal. She totally felt like she was in _Enchanted_ right now, watching as the little mice and cockroaches cleaned her apartment! Except...there were no mice or rogue animals, thank God. Loki would be her own personal cleaning magician.

Soon, the room was neat and both Darcy and Loki could see the actual colour of the carpet!

"Oh my God, it's frickin' clean in here!" Darcy exclaimed. "Thank you, Loki! I love you!"

Loki opened his eyes and looked at Darcy. A spark flew through is body.

"Uh...I mean...thanks. That's awesome. I meant 'I love you' as in like..." Darcy trailed off. Her cheeks flushed bright red in embarrassment. She let go of her hug on Loki.

As she tried to retreat back to her bedroom, Loki reached out and held onto her waist. He pulled her backwards to his chest and turned her around. Darcy tried to look anywhere but into Loki's eyes. Loki placed a hand on her chin and angled her up towards his face. He kissed her tenderly on the lips.

Darcy closed her eyes and melted into his lips, placing her hands on his chest. Loki pulled her in tight to his body and caressed her sides and her back. He pulled his lips away for a second.

"Darcy Lewis. You are by _far_, the messiest dame that I have ever met..." Darcy's expression dropped and her cheeks glowed a flaming red. Loki placed a hand onto her cheeks, enjoying the beautiful colour beneath his fingertips.

"...but I am absolutely." Loki kissed her forehead.

"Without a doubt." He kissed her nose.

"In love with you." He kissed her on her red lips, pressing with a greater need than before.

Darcy's lips stretched in a smile as she pressed back with a passion. She grabbed his shirt roughly by the chest and pulled them both onto her couch. They fell together and Loki held his forearms out to support his weight above Darcy.

With a bright smile, Darcy broke their kiss and asked, "Will you come over every week to tidy up my place?"

Loki's mischievous grin matched hers. "How does every night sound?"

Darcy squealed in delight and they showed their love all throughout the night.


End file.
